a dash of ash

december 12, 2019

I know it’s been a bit since I last shared my thoughts with you all, but I figured it was about time I do it yet again. It’s officially the dreaded finals week, and the only thing I can think about is how in the world four months have already passed. I’ll be leaving campus on Friday for a month, and although I’m excited to go back home and see everyone (and the snow), I know I’ll miss it here.

Over the past couple of weeks, my life has definitely sped up and it has made it hard to keep track of the days. Over the past month, I’ve finally felt like I’m truly experiencing college. I have been presented with a great deal of opportunities within my programs, the most significant one being that I was able to observe a classroom for a couple of days, exposing me to my future as an educator. At first, this was incredibly intimidating, but eventually, I grew to know the class and the teacher, and found it kind of difficult to leave on my last day of observations. I was able to connect with several of the students within this third grade class, and it was through these connections that I found worth in every thing I’ve been doing and completing within my education classes up until this point. This observation allowed for me to experience the classroom from a different perspective other than a student, for the first time. I was able to see the different interactions between students, as well as between the students and the teacher, and truly understand what makes teaching worth all of the hard work and effort that is constantly put into it.

Of course, with these observation hours on top of the immense amount of credits I’m currently taking, the last few weeks have not been easy for me by any means. Aside from the three weeks of IB examinations that I endured this May, I can say that these last couple of weeks have been the most academically challenging for me. There were definitely moments in which I felt like giving up, like I couldn’t do it. However, I’m fortunate enough to have people here (as well as those back home who continue to support me) to get me through it.

I didn’t come to college with the impression that it would be easy, but I definitely was ignorant to the fact that it is considerably difficult. I can honestly say that I underestimated the rigor of my courses, but I am not upset about it. I was able to gain so much knowledge in the short span of one semester, knowledge that I will carry with me for the next four years, and into my future career.

Along with the knowledge I’ve gained, I’ve also developed relationships that are already irreplaceable to me. Within the few months that I’ve been away from home, I have been able to get to know myself more, as well as my peers. I feel as though there is a sense of mutual dependency, as for many of us, it’s our first time living with a somewhat overwhelming sense of independence. Although it can be scary, it also makes for memorable experiences. Despite only knowing my friends in university for a little over three months, the amount of trust and interdependence that we have built is incredible. It hardly feels like we just met in August, and I know that as I continue on my educational path, I will only grow to further understand that it is not necessarily how long that you’ve known a person that determines the closeness of that relationship.

Initially, I was terrified to move so far away from home. I was lucky enough to have one friend from high school that wound up at the same place as me. Even though we weren’t especially close in high school, we’ve grown closer over our time down here, and we provide a sense of comfort for one another. It’s a completely different atmosphere living on your own, so being lucky enough to have someone who is going through the same exact transition as you is rare. However, in a sense, we are all going through the same transition, yet coming from different prior situations and mindsets.

Essentially, my college experience has taught me to view every new situation, whether positive or negative, as a learning experience. You can never know enough, and the sooner that one acknowledges this, the sooner you expand your mindset and continuously strive to reach a higher potential in terms of understanding. For me personally, I view each interaction as a learning experience; whether it be with someone that I’ve grown familiar with because they’re right down the hall from me, or a class of third grade students who are confused as to why there’s a college freshman sitting in the back of their classroom. I’ve determined that each person interprets interaction differently, and expresses themselves differently, and by simply understanding and acknowledging different forms of expression, and different perspectives themselves, you allow for an impactful learning experience.

As my first semester of college draws to an end, I can genuinely say that, although I’ve definitely had my fair share of hopeless moments, I am more than grateful for the opportunities I’ve had to learn and grow thus far and look forward to similar opportunities that I will receive in the future.

xoxo,, Ash