a dash of ash

september 29 2019

I didn’t really believe any of my older friends when they told me college would be completely different than high school. Of course, I was somewhat forced to believe them when I made the decision to move a thousand miles away from home. Looking back on my high school experience, I feel as though I am a completely different person. Despite only being here for a month, my university experience has definitely thrown me through a loop several times. From more dire situations like a campus lockdown, or hurricane evacuation, to something as minor schedule conflicts, I have definitely experienced a new level of stress here (and that’s saying something after “surviving” IB). Taking this into consideration, I’m managing just fine; I came here equipped and ready for something new. As much as we like to complain about how difficult and rigorous life as an IB student was, I feel as though I’m obligated to tell you, especially those in IB now, that it really does prepare you. With my experience in the Diploma Programme, I have felt incredibly confident with every piece of writing I’ve turned in thus far. Previous experience aside, not only am I learning an immense amount of content within my classes, but my experiences in university have also taught me a great deal of lessons in the short time I’ve been here. In my opinion, the most important lesson is that of patience. In the more serious situations of lockdowns and evacuations, I learned (somewhat painstakingly) that communication comes with time, and that patience is required. Through relationships I’ve established, group projects I’ve been a part of, and even within myself, I’ve realized that patience is necessary to maintain a healthy mindset within any situation. By retaining a level of patience, you facilitate the process/situation for everyone involved. 

In my time here, I’ve had the opportunity to interact and build relationships with members of a very diverse student body. We are diverse in any aspect you could think of: culture, nationality, language, personality, background. I’ve had many conversations with my peers as to how we wound up here. Despite working hard to get where I am, there are those who worked harder, those who persevered in situations they thought they wouldn’t get out of, those who have experienced what I still struggle to fathom. I take the experiences of others, and realize that I have an immense privilege. I had the privilege to grow up in a healthy household. I had the privilege to attend an extremely prestigious high school, providing preparation for life. Throughout my life, I’ve constantly had privilege, which has often gone unacknowledged. However, hearing about others’ experiences and struggles, I now recognize how lucky I truly was, and continue to be. Keeping this in mind, it only makes me more certain about my choice to be an educator. I hope to make the privilege that I have been exposed to all of my life, less of a privilege and more of a  commonality to future generations. 

This exposure to the different experiences that my peers have had within their adolescence, hasn’t changed my plans for my future, but rather, my purpose for pursuing teaching. Purpose is something I have been exploring to a great extent within the last month. I’ve noticed that completing anything requires a purpose. When one maintains a purpose in whatever they’re doing, it facilitates the process, and makes it easier. Having and recognizing a purpose behind everything you do makes life even just a little difficult. Without purpose, or with purpose but a lack of acknowledgment toward that purpose, it seems as though we are just going through the motions. I certainly got caught up in feeling this way, and when I tell you it is the worst possible mindset, I speak from experience. By acknowledging the purpose within our actions, not only do we hold ourselves accountable for a portion of our own wellbeing, but also for the effects of our actions upon others. Something as simple as speaking your purpose into existence could change the way you go about a great deal of your pursuits within life. 

I learn something with what seems like each step I take, and as someone who always enjoyed school for the learning aspect, I’m living a dream. With each new experience, new relationship, new lesson, I feel as though I carry myself with more confidence in what I’m doing and where I’m going. 

xoxo, Ash