a dash of ash

august 7, 2019

If you grew up in the early 2000s or were a parent by this time, chances are you’ve seen Meet the Robinsons (and if you haven’t, take me for my word when I say that it’s a fantastic movie). Rob Thomas sings a song in the movie titled Little Wonders. Although this may not hold significance for many, it happened to be our “senior song.”

A funny thing is, a lot of us decided that the song wasn’t the greatest choice for a senior song, compared to other schools, it didn’t have the same energy around it as others’ choices did. However, we failed to keep in mind that our school isn’t really the same as any other. I like to think that we are a lot tighter knit than a class at any other school had the opportunity to be, we overcame an abundance of challenges that weren’t even thrown in front of those that attended these other schools.

As my time in Michigan quickly veers to an end, I am scrambling to make time to see all of my friends one last time and say my goodbyes, which become more and more difficult with each one I say. It’s currently Tuesday night, and I have about two and a half days left until I officially set off on my journey into the unknown. I made plans with a friend tonight, and when I say plans, I use the term loosely, as we didn’t really have anywhere to go, or anything to do, for that matter. He picked me up and we wound up running a few errands and then met up with another one of our friends. We went to get a 4 for 4 from Wendy’s (as one does at 9:30 on a Tuesday night. Now, this is where our plans sort of made themselves. As we pulled into the parking lot, recounting various events and memories from senior year, we found ourselves on the topic of our senior song. Eventually, we put it on, and really listened to it, and next thing you know: two out of the three of us started tearing up.

At the prime time of being seniors, (prom, graduation, etc.), there’s a sort of adrenaline rush that lasts for weeks, you don’t really keep track of the time passing by. You just continue looking forward to the next thing. But, sitting in the car in Wendy’s parking lot, we really listened to the song and realized that we had let time get the best of us those last couple of weeks of high school.

Of course, the lobby was already closed by the time we went in, so we ordered food and drove off, not really knowing where to eat it. So, naturally, we wound up in the parking lot where we took our IB exams, parked, and reminisced about the past year. It seemed like time had finally caught up to us-this chapter really has come to a close, had we believed it prior to this evening or not. After eating and talking, we drove around a bit and it began to get late, so, as we do, we drove and met up with another friend. After talking a bit, we decided to head home and dropped everyone off at their respective cars, and began the drive home. Now, when I tell you I was not at all looking forward to this is an understatement. I was dreading it. My friend had picked me up from my house, so he had to drop me off back at home.

A little background that could be helpful if you aren’t close to me at all: this friend lived next to me all throughout high school, so we drove together nearly every day for four years. And once you begin a constant like that, it’s only natural to talk about everything and anything. Some days, I would look forward to our drives home just so I would have a chance to talk it out if I was having a rough day. Once something good happened in my life, I couldn’t wait to talk about it in the car. It became sort of a thing: our car talks. Essentially, he became my sounding board. So, for almost four years, we never really had a silent car ride unless one of us was really mad (or tired-it happens, it’s high school). But this car ride was eerily silent. There was nothing either of us could say because the inevitable is fast approaching: I’m leaving.

About ten minutes out from home, I put on that song once more. Now, a bit of the chorus is “Time falls away/But these small hours/These small hours still remain.” And, I can’t express how suiting it was for that particular moment. As he had said earlier in the night “I would give anything for one normal day.” And I find myself somewhat appalled at the fact that I feel similar. It’s hard to believe that I find myself wanting to go back and wake up at 5:30, drive thirty minutes to school, and see all of my classmates and teachers just one last time in a “normal” setting. But, we all know that will never happen. The days in which that was a reality passed us while we turned what some may call a blind eye. We took that reality for granted, and now we are left with a yearning to return to what, at the time, was ordinary.

​As I spend these next few days with friends and family, I am going to try and remember to live in the moment and enjoy what time I have left with the people I have grown to know and love. And, as it is nearing the early hours of the morning (which apparently, is my prime writing time) I leave you with this: though it may slip our minds, let’s try to remember to enjoy the moment while it is still a reality and enjoy the little wonders.

xoxo, Ash